Paranoia seriously questions how to behave in a given situation. And how we’ll be judged for that. It gives rapid and diverse possibilities and outcomes.
I’ve come to the conclusion: damn them all, why should I ever spend my time acting when if I’m not being paid to do it? I love, grieve and get angry in my own way. It is valid, because I don’t hate my own mind. If I did, then it would be because something got in there that I didn’t want. Then it wouldn’t be mine, it would be someone else interfering, telling me how to act.
But then, I remember some mothers have been put in prison, for not acting in a way a mother is supposed to over the death of a child. Difference is suspect. Guess that’s why I should never be a mother.
Yes, but what if something I said, was said to be the cause of someone’s suicide? What if I fed someone some food and they choked on it and died? What if I advised someone to do something and they did it and they were permanently injured because of it? Well then, I’d put myself in a deep freeze for a while so I couldn’t think about what I’d done. Or I’d eat some fish and think about the fishiness. Because saying nothing at all can be the worse crime of all. That’s the way people can get killed on mass.
So, as Nana said, “Better out than in.”
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