Scene

This is what happens when I’m walking down the street. And why I can’t stop laughing, in case anyone wants to know. Little dialogues, like this:
“I'm just wondering when the time for wandering will waft my way again. “
“I find that attitude abysmal . Get a life and a career happening, says Mum. Don’t you dare have sex, or even think about it or I’ll make you eat the baby.”
They have character voices too, don’t forget, that’s often what gets me laughing.
“Um, I’m sorry. I just thought you were pouring crap on me.”
“If you don’t eat it. You’re going to have to do something with its crap.”
“Stop eating babies!”

It is just really weird stuff.
“That’s not a good one is it? Little lamb on the spit.”
“Mate, you go too far.”
“If you mate with me, my Mum will make you… you know.”
“Stop it. You’re asking for trouble.”

“Oh. That’s right. You’re the force of good and I’m the bad apple eh? Well I’ll make a drink out of that fermenting fruit and sell it to all those well wishers out there.”
“Stop arguing with me. I want you to understand where we are coming from. I want you to see why it is that we earn and you burn.”
“Which part of that made sense to you?”

And sometimes, I just listen in haphazardly to things going on around me and draw them with my pen. Not listening through my ears, but listening in another way. Does this help or hinder my play? I wonder. Hmm. Grin to the point of grit and spit away. I find it funny. If you don’t, I think you’re silly to judge me for hearing and seeing such things. If there’s no use for them, why are they there? For me to twiddle my thumbs with? Don’t make a monster out of me and I won’t make a monster out of you. I'm just here to see what exactly it is people want me to do. And if you fck with me, guess that's going to come back in my art. So, here's a nice little scene for you eh? Let's not try to burn the which again.

More on trouble: the manic Berserker tautology

(Hiding from responsibility)Conversation with computer: “I think I know who you are now. You’re a mix-up. You can’t do several things at once. So you think fck it, bloody hell, I won’t do the thing that is totally going to make trouble so I’d do the thing that will give me trouble, but also asks for it. See, really, you don’t want to do the wrong thing. So, you split yourself up. But that still doesn’t work. Because then people get confused. So, you think fuck it, I’ll just make a soupy mess of everything and then everyone can know I’m totally wrong, they won’t give me any help or love or nothing. But, you know, at least you’re showing that you’re a soup. So then they’ll know to avoid you if they’re worried about what might be hidden in that soup.”
“Is that how to play or not to play.”
“It’s how to say: Get the hell outa my way or stand there and be affected by whatever has afflicted and infected the personage.”
“Or maybe we are more ordered that we seem, because we take don’t orders without investigating their purpose and masticating them.”
“Careful what you swallow then from the soup of society. There’s always trouble lurking out there somewhere.”
“Should I then take the trouble to look out for it? Could be troublesome.”
“So is climbing up a tree and gathering dates.”
“I’d rather let go of all these barriers that say I’ve got to do and be and stop and go and kiss under mistletoe.”
“Guess you’re not into just red and green then. Might want your spectrum myriad in there. But remember with the fall of every filter system, or wall, trouble comes in to greet you with a stare.” (letting go)
“Sweet. So what’s the dare?”
“Trouble is a follow, it doesn’t instigate.”
“Well, enough of trouble. I’d rather think of beautiful stuff and love and smiles and just let that be there.”
“Sigh. Doesn’t quite work that way. Trouble ain’t giving up that easily.”
Do you go with the dream or the trouble? Paintings. New stuff. Not sold, not painted over. Want to buy? Well, you’ve got to let me know, or they’ll just disappear.