Served

Plate says, "What the hell are you doing with your life? Aren't you over this stupid thing you do yet? Can't you get a grip and start doing something useful for a change? Where's your nous? Has it been eaten by some infant mouse? Fuck off."

Eater says, "Um. It sort of disturbs me when food talks to me. I'm not sure I can eat this waiter. Would it be possible to have something else."

Light bulb and barb

"This one is pretty straight forward. Everyone wants everyone to not leave heating on and go out and get gum leaves to wipe their bum so that the toilet gets blocked and shitty gummy smells fill the air," says the Bleary. "Totally ruins your taste for eucalypts if you're a koala."

I ponder that for a moment. Then think about how much I want to think about what this Bleary says. Okay hmm.

Biting the balloon

"Post now. We need directions to get to this place."
"Okay something weird going on here."
"Don't post that one. Draw a new one, all those ones you did last night are now redundant."
"Okay."
"Too late now. Needed it ten seconds ago."
"Okay."

Bloody exhibitionish

mox

There are several reasons for making up stories about things that aren't really there. And sometimes I do this to defend my epiglottis other times my insight. But since there is no point to this one, it might as well get to one. What? You actually want me to say something else?

Man and donkey

"I'm never going to talk to you again if you think you can give me such crud as this for a post. I think you are a moron to even want to put it out there like it means something. However, being friendly and all I'll try to make sure that I'm in love with everything you do and that sort of thing. Yes, okay, whatever, good, there's there and there's here and what am I talking about."

"Buggered if I know, you're probably the donkey."

"No you fool. I just wanted to eat you alive for a bit so I can roast you up tommorrow."

"Okay. So this is about stuffing the donkey with something nice and tasty?"

"Shh. Be quiet. We're hunting wrap its."

"On a stuffed donkey?"

"Okay. If that's the way you wish to play you obviously don't need to have a wired up interaction anymore."

"Um. What's that to you?"

"I want you to be fat like me. I hate thin ugly people that don't eat."

"If you were a donkey and the man sitting on you was fat, would you prefer that extra weight, or the bones sticking in?"

"You've got me thinking about where this is going and I'm sort of wondering that myself."

"Okay. Then we're done. Key is in the see eh?"

Adds up

You hate it. That’s the point. It scares the crap out of you. To have it dangled in front of your face is not something you would call motor beeping ace.
Just remember, you’re the one with the pack and the spade here. So dig! Ahhhh my hair is falling out I’m going to have to get a wig. I could play my cards into a war hole then.

Pharm a shoot tackle

Dedicated testing for the defense of those who love arms races. Break it down to the minimal molecular. Shoot to kill the peculiar. Make it seem like it’s about altruism. Then call for funds to count the dead.